Bat-tle Cry
Penned on January 11, 2026
| Drink | Rating | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Screetch on the Beach | 3 / 5 | A coconut rum drink served in a tall glass with a paper umbrella. A local described it as “hard to take, like my situationship” and I have logged this phrase for further linguistic analysis. The drink is indeed challenging—sweet to the point of aggression, then abruptly sour. I do not know what a situationship is, but I suspect it is unpleasant. |
| Whi-skreeeeee Sour | 5 / 5 | Best in the business. The claim is accurate. A whiskey sour made with what I believe was a single-barrel rye, fresh lemon, and egg white shaken until my arms would have ached had I been organic. The foam stands two fingers high and holds for minutes. I returned the following evening for a second. It was equally perfect. Consistency at this level is rare. |
| Sweet Marsckreeni | 3 / 5 | A vibrant ruby blend with floating slices of enchanted citrus that glow faintly. The first sip dances across the tongue with bright berries and spice before finishing with a flourish of feywild sweetness. Several patrons reported an irresistible urge to twirl after consuming it. My gyroscopic stabilizers registered no such compulsion, but I observed the effect in others with scientific interest. Whether magical or merely festive, I cannot say. |
| Sanskreeta | 5 / 5 | An astonishingly smooth dessert cocktail made from honeyed cream liqueur and rare moon-orchard fruits. Rich without becoming cloying—it tastes like a halfling grandmother’s secret recipe elevated by arcane intervention. Dangerous only because you will want another immediately. I understand now why the bat-folk of Bat-tle Cry speak of this drink in hushed, reverent tones. |
Bat-tle Cry
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